Why do I keep crying?

As a teenager I always wondered why I was so quick to tears. I googled "crying for no reason" and wanted to find out how to fix this "flaw" in my system. No one, neither online nor around me, could answer that question. By now I know the answer.

My insights:

1. There is no crying "for no reason": Every instance of crying has a (valid!) reason. Sometimes, though, that reason lies in an event from the past that has resurfaced in the current situation, so it does not always make sense if you look rigidly at the present moment.

2. Crying is a good thing: Crying is not the enemy. It supports emotional regulation and helps you process unpleasant experiences. Crying is calming. Extremely frequent crying can be a sign that there is still unprocessed trauma. On that level, frequent crying can be reduced through trauma work.

3. Crying does not have to go away: The belief that crying is a problem to be "fixed" rests on a judgement learned from your environment, that certain feelings are not allowed to be there. Crying is nothing bad, at least not in a loving environment that offers understanding and comfort. On the contrary, in a loving environment crying is even an invitation to those around you to turn toward you lovingly and listen to what is going on. Which in turn helps you process old experiences in a healing way.

4. Confusion is a protective response: If you do not know why you have to cry, it may be that subconsciously you can sense that your environment is not a safe place right now for working through your feelings. Then you can simply accept that and look out for a person who can handle your feeling lovingly. In an understanding environment it usually becomes clear very quickly what it is really about and what the reason for the crying is.

In summary: in the right environment, crying really is not a problem at all, but a solution for unprocessed emotions.

Reflection: With whom can you feel safe to cry?